Quotes - Smartass

"You can justify anything by putting it in quotes and adding a famous name"
Albert Einstein
Somewhere there's a company out there that has actually worked out how to enlarge penises, but they're powerless to reach their potential customers.
Remember how they used to say that if IBM marketed Kentucky Fried Chicken, they would have called it "Warm Dead Birds".
English doesn't borrow from other languages. It follows them down dark allies, knocks them over, and goes through their pockets for loose grammar.
James D. Nicoll
How many members of a certain demographic does it take to screw in a light bulb? - A finite number. One to screw in the lightbulb, and the rest to act in a manner stereotypical of the group in question.
A programmer started to cuss
Because getting to sleep was a fuss
As he lay there in bed
Looping 'round in his head
was: while(!asleep()) sheep++;
The day after tomorrow is the third day of the rest of your life.
RTFM is Interwebs-speak for "Repeat the first message". It is used when the message did not transfer over the Interwebs properly. If someone tells you to RTFM, be patient with them, and copy-and-paste your original message several times. Also, typing the message with capslock on will improve the chances that it will get through.
The latest survey shows that three out of four people make up 75% of the population.
What is a guitar? A graphical extension for the archiver, of course!
Soylent Green -- the taste differs from person to person
Zigaretten sind wie Hamster. Total harmlos, bis man sie in den Mund nimmt und anzuendet.
"Very funny, Scotty. Now beam down my clothes."
Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
DRM 'manages access' in the same way that jail 'manages freedom.'
If it wasn't for C, we would be stuck using BASI, PASAL and OBOL.